Top 10 Signs That You're Addicted to the Internet

By Bunmi on September 1st 2011
I’m addicted to the Internet. My daily vices include Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter, Mashable, and a list of blogs too long to list. A twelve step program may exist for people like me but we’re too busy using the Google machine to bother with that. You too may have an addiction to the world wide web. Feel free to use the list below to gauge how deep your dependency lies.

Top 10 Signs That You’re Addicted to the Internet

10. You’ve attended an online event: No need to put on shoes when you can drop by a Twitter party in your pajamas while drinking a smoothie out of your favorite mug. If you’ve been to a blog bash or fete that included hashtags, you might be addicted to the Internet.

9. You talk about your online friends often: Have you ever gone on and on about how funny Kerri is to your significant other only to shock them with the fact that you’ve never met this person that you seem so close to? If you feel a deep sense of connection to another human being with whom you’ve never made eye contact, you may have a problem.

8. You know more about your Twitter followers than any of your neighbors: If you call the guy across the street “the guy across the street” because you’ve never asked his name but you know the ages and favorite fruits of @MommysHelper302’s kids, please seek help.

7. You’ve ever had a nightmare about dial-up Internet.

6. You’ve woken up at 3AM and felt the need to update your Facebook status before going back to sleep.

5. You Google “weather in (your city)” to find the weekend’s forecast and three hours later you’re looking at Kim Kardashian’s wedding dress and have no idea how you got there.

4. You haven’t purchased a birthday card in three years because a simple Wall post will do.

3. Your five-year old specifically asks you not to “put that on Facebook” when she does something funny, weird, or crazy.

2. You feel physically heavy when you CTRL X until you CTRL V.

1. You’re developing carpal tunnel from your iPhone or Blackberry.

If you’ve answered yes to 5+ of the above, please seek help immediately. Or start a Facebook group for support.